


A Study in Sherlock

by Chatia



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Comedy, Gen, Light-Hearted, RPF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-30
Updated: 2014-11-30
Packaged: 2018-02-27 14:20:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2696162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chatia/pseuds/Chatia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock Holmes and John Watson arrive to the set of BBC's Sherlock Holmes for a day of consulting and instruction to the actors playing them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Study in Sherlock

The producer had been waiting for this call for some time, she could scarcely believe it was actually happening. Finally, Sherlock and John would be coming to the set.

“Are you sure? You'll really come? Oh excellent, yes, I'll let the others know, they will be thrilled to see you! Thank you so much for this.”

Two weeks later, the world's only consulting detective and Dr. Watson took a taxi to the set of the TV show which was based on their lives.

“I don't see why we have to do this.”

“I told you Sherlock, our case numbers are down and this will help us drum up some business. Plus, don't you want them to portray you as accurately as possible?”

The two men rode in silence for some time; Sherlock stared out the window, while John smiled to himself, enjoying the London scenery.

“He's too pretty. He's too pretty and his eyes are the wrong shade of blue.” Sherlock muttered.

“Sorry, who?”

“Bender.. Cabbagepatch, whatever his name is, me.”

“Ben-e-dict Cum-ber-batch.” John enunciated, “And you can't expect them to get everything right Sherlock. Besides, I think he does a right good job of you” John smiled knowingly at his friend.

“What a pretentious name! Why did they pick someone with such a pretentious name?”

“He's an international film star you know. He's done tons of movies, he played Alan Turing.. and Khan in the new Star Trek!”

“Oh wonderful, a superhuman psychopath is portraying me.” Sherlock replied sarcastically. “Though I suppose I should be happy, at least I don't have a hobbit for a double.”

As soon as the taxi reached its destination John hopped out and happily waved to the crowd gathered nearby. He could hardly believe the amount of people there, and they all seemed excited simply to see him exit the car. What a wonder this show was for him and Sherlock!

Sherlock remained inside the taxi, arms crossed, assessing the situation. He could hardly believe the amount of people there, didn't they have anything better to do? How was he supposed to work under these circumstances? Perhaps if he ignored them they would vanish. When John finally noticed his companion's absence, he turned and headed back to the taxi, opening the door to admonish his friend.

“Sherlock, you can't pout in here all day.”

“I'm not pouting, I'm doing.. reconnaissance.”

“You're pouting, let's go.”

Two men approached as Sherlock reluctantly exited the vehicle. The first was tall, and wore a trench coat with a scarf draped loosely around his neck. His black, curly hair bounced with each step and he had a welcoming smile on his face. His partner was a smaller man wearing a cigar jacket with patches on the shoulder and elbow. His short hair was greying, but his face still showed a youthful exuberance.

“ Ah, you must be Martin and Benedict!” John greeted the two men with a hearty handshake. John felt as if he were looking into a mirror as he shook Martin's hand.

Benedict glanced over the top of the taxi, and noticed Sherlock exiting the vehicle. Sherlock paused for a moment and regarded Benedict, his eyes flashing wildly, taking in everything about the man in one glance. A look of disappointment crossed his face.

Sherlock's speech was lightning fast as his mouth desperately tried to keep up with the information being fed to it by his spectacular brain.“You are thirty-eight years old, you have a girlfriend, no a fiancee. You ride a motorbike to the set daily, risking losing your career (and your life) to a single inattentive driver. Both your parents are actors, and introduced you to it at a young age, you therefore went to a boarding school where you fell in love with the craft. You have a quick wit, make friends easily, and are highly regarded among your peers” Sherlock started to turn away but then whipped back around as one last thought came to him, “Oh, and you are far too pretty and your eyes are the wrong shade of blue.”

As Sherlock made his way around the cab to where the others were, he met the astounded gazes of Martin and Benedict, and gave John a knowing smile. John quickly tried to stifle a laugh.

“That's amazing, you got all that from one glance? You really are something else!” Martin remarked incredulously.

“They're called papers.” Sherlock looked down his nose at Martin.

“I'm sorry?”

“The papers; he's in them.” Sherlock explained, pointing to Benedict. “I recommend reading them from time to time in order to garner information of interest to you, such as data on the man who's going to be playing you in a television show.” A half smile formed on Sherlock's lips but quickly disappeared as he rolled his eyes “and playing me badly I see, do you even know how to wear a scarf?” Sherlock yanked the scarf off Benedict's neck, and then adeptly replaced it, tying it in the classic Sherlock knot. “Listen Billy, I'd appreciate it if you'd at least attempt to make it look like I can dress myself.” Sherlock then turned and briskly walked away, muttering to himself. 

“Benedict, Sherlock, it's Benedict.” John mumbled, face in his hand. “Sorry about that, he's not very good with names.”

“Quite all right John. Well, this should be interesting eh Martin?” Benedict cheerfully intoned.

“Oh yeah, I think me and Watson will get on fine, have a great time with yours there Ben.” Martin chuckled.

Benedict sighed heavily and steeled himself as he followed John and Martin back to the set, the two Watsons with their arms around each others shoulders, laughing away at an unheard joke. Benedict couldn't help but think he was about to have a very long day.

Unfortunately for Benedict, his premonition was correct. Sherlock first wanted to test his knowledge and so demanded he recite, among other things, all two hundred and forty three kinds of tobacco, all three hundred and sixty types of yarn, and the placement and colour of bruises which would appear on a corpse, should it be horse whipped exactly 6 hours after death. Suffice it to say, Benedict did not live up to Sherlock's expectations. Once it was clear that Benedict's knowledge wasn't up to snuff, Sherlock moved on to deductions. Leading Benedict around the set, he had him try to deduce obvious (to Sherlock) things about various people. After Benedict was unable to identify the birth dates of ten different people in a row, Sherlock's frustration became obvious.

“How on earth do you intend to portray an accurate version of me when you are completely unable to perform the most rudimentary deductions?! This is absolutely appalling.”

“Sherlock, I'm an actor, I don't have to perform the deductions, I have to LOOK like I'm performing the deductions.” Benedict desperately tried to explain to Sherlock.

This was the final straw for Sherlock and he stomped off, finally freeing Benedict from what had been one of the most intellectually draining days of his life.

Benedict went to the dining area and found John and Martin sitting at a table with multiple empty beer glasses between them. The two men were laughing gregariously, and tears of laughter could be seen streaming down their faces.

“So Sherlock is standing on top of the elephant,” John is laughing so hard he can barely speak “and he looks at me and says “Watson, why don't you try to figure out who the owner is, while I examine.. the.. the”” John stops as he notices Benedict enter the room.

“Oh dear, he does have that effect on people.” John got up and began to pour a beer for Benedict.

“Whiskey, please” Benedict muttered as he lowered his head to the table, resting it on his arms.

“Was it really that bad Ben? John and I have had an amazing time, you wouldn't believe the stories of Sherlock he has.” Martin patted his friend on the elbow as John gave him the glass of whiskey.

Benedict looked up at Martin, grabbed his glass of whiskey, and downed the whole drink in one gulp. He had another 6 days of “learning” from Sherlock ahead of him.

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I struggled writing Benedict and Martin for this. Although I know Sherlock and John very well, I really don't know anything about the two actors. I watched a few interviews with the two of them, and hopefully hit somewhere near the mark.


End file.
